Fresh off the presses, plus some humour

In today’s message:

• Fresh off the presses
• Some humour
• Financing for equipment

Fresh off the presses

The most recent issue of Canadian Equipment Magazine has a lead article by me about some legal aspects of the remote disabling technologies that are becoming more commonly installed in all kinds of equipment. If you are interested, you can read the article here or view the whole magazine here. The article is somewhat technical, but I was prompted to write it by a real-life client whose story you’ll find in it.

Some humour

Here are a few good ones from the late Milton Berle:

A man was feeling poorly. Having taught his dog how to bring in the morning paper, he thought he could improve on that by letting the dog go to the store for him. Stuffing a five dollar bill and a shopping list under the dog’s collar, he sent his pet off. An hour went by. There was no sign of the dog. Two hours went by. Frantic, the man dressed and started toward the store. Passing an alley, he heard a familiar bark. He looked and saw his dog nuzzling up to a female dog. The man ran to the dog and said, “I can’t believe this. You’ve never behaved like this before.” The dog said, “I never had the money before.”

He found it impossible to make a date. He’d start to talk to a girl and his tongue would twist up like a pretzel. He went to a bookstore and looked for a book that might help him overcome his timidity. 0n a nonfiction rack he saw a book titled ‘Ways to Women.’ Blowing his whole allowance, he bought the book, rushed home and discovered that he’d bought volume ten of the encyclopedia!

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison — if it wasn’t for him, we’d be watching television by candlelight.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn’t say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it’s terribly inconvenient.

It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, “Did you miss a step?” “No,” he answers, “I hit every one of them!”

I’m 83, and I feel like a 20-year-old, but unfortunately there’s never one around.

A specialist is a doctor with a smaller practice but a bigger home!

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?

They’ve finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

A man is hit by a car while crossing the street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, “Are you comfortable?” The man answers, “I make a nice living.”

Financing for equipment

Here’s what we provide:

• To equipment users: Quick service and a low cost to acquire new and used income-producing units.
• To equipment manufacturers and vendors: A quick and simple way to offer affordable monthly payment options to your customers.

“Affordable monthly payment options”